A Post so Shallow, the Bottoms of Your Feet Won’t Get Wet

What a hideous school pic. See what happens when we can't do our own selfies?

What a hideous school pic. See what happens when we can’t do our own selfies?

Do you see the picture of me here?  It is hideous. Yes, don’t try to placate me. It is. I was a nerd, apparently, and my school pictures never hid this fact. Lately, I have seen much criticism on the web about the narcissism that has blossomed with the advent of the cell phone camera. Folks take multiple pictures of themselves, then post a selfie that meets with their liking. I am here to tell you that I do this too.  Why not?! I have a cell phone with seemingly unlimited storage (although I do delete the ugly pics), and I want to present my best face to the world. What is wrong with this, I ask you.

Kids today, even though they are able to control their public image by posting only the best possible selfies, still understand the horror of a yearbook photo gone wrong. It’s not as if the school gives them multiple pics from which to choose.  They pose, the photo is taken, and then they are doomed to look at the half-smile, eyes closed, spot of drool on their chin photo for the rest of their lives.  What sane person wouldn’t want to counter this series of unfortunate pictures chronicling their acne phase with a few nice photographs?

Well, I for one, would want to. Eleven of twelve of my school photos are so ridiculous that I am actually damaged, psychologically, from the fact that they exist. Eleven of twelve of every photo ever taken during my life have been equally as shocking, and apparently, I am just not photogenic.  In fact, my maternal grandmother once told me, “Well, you were never the photogenic one,” upon seeing my school photo – this one in particular.

In the end, what is wrong with putting your best foot, or face, forward?  I will admit that I get a little miffed or perturbed when someone constantly changes their profile picture, but, hey, can I blame them?  If it’s better than the previous one, then by all means, post away! Honestly, I don’t want to see unflattering pictures of all my friends anyway.

So, from here on out, consider this permission (from me) to take multiple pictures of yourself, and MY GOD, PLEASE only post the ones that show you in a good light. I will do the same, and hope that you can understand. If I happen to post one that is unflattering to myself, then you will just have to understand that I am getting uglier, and I just can’t help it.

 

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